Peculiar Love: Anthropology by Dan Rhodes

101 short ‘stories’ (or paragraphs, really) each 101 words long, each one more bizarre than the last. I’ve had this book for years and find myself dipping into it whenever I feel like laughing. Each story is narrated by an unnamed man who is experiencing one difficulty or another with a girlfriend. The stories are disturbingly hilarious and undeniably dark with a common thread of absurdity running through them. Here’s a little taster; enjoy!

TRICK

My girlfriend told me she had been the victim
of nature’s cruellest trick, that although born
male she had always felt female. She said she
had started dressing in women’s clothes at
the age of seventeen, and three years later
had undergone the necessary surgery. I was
stunned, but told her that I loved her first and
foremost as a person, and that I would give her
all the emotional support she needed. She
looked horrified. She had only been joking.
She left me. She said she was going to find a
real man, not some queer little gayboy like me.

BINDING

I found my girlfriend smashing our two-year-
old’s toes with a rock. I told her to stop. ‘What
are you doing?’ I cried, above the baby’s
agonised wails.
‘You wouldn’t understand,’ she said,
winding a bandage tightly around the crushed
digits. ‘It’s a woman thing. It’ll help her get a
boyfriend.’
‘But darling, don’t you remember what the
doctor told us? It’s a boy baby.’
‘Really?’ She looked surprised. ‘Oh well.
Men look nice with small feet too. I expect
he’ll be gay, anyway. He’s got that look about
him. See?’ I had to agree that she had a point.

CHARGING

My girlfriend started charging me for sex. She
said she had to think of her future, and
anyway her friends did it so why shouldn’t
she? I didn’t mind too much because her basic
rates were very reasonable, although she
always expected tips for extras. Once, as she
was holding the banknotes I’d given her up to
the light to make sure they were real, I asked
her if she ever went with anyone else for
money. She was furious, and asked what kind
of girl I thought she was. I said one with
laughing eyes, and lovely long dark hair.

Book Review: The Last Weekend by Blake Morrison

It starts with a simple phone call – Ian and his wife, Em, are invited to come up to the country to spend a long weekend with Ollie (Ian’s best friend from university) and his wife, Daisy. What do you need to know about these two couples?  Well, according to Ian:

‘The various ways in which we’re not like Ollie and Daisy is a conversation we often have. Indeed, we’ve spent far more time talking about them than in their presence. The essential contrasts, all to our disadvantage, go: large Georgian house in west London vs small modern semi in Ilkestone; Range Rover and BMW vs Ford Fiesta; Mauritius (Florence, Antigua etc.) vs Lanzarote (if we’re lucky); The Ivy vs Pizza Express; [...] golden couple vs pair of ugly toads. I exaggerate but not much.’

Meet Ian, the narrator of this quietly chilling novel who wants to tell you what happened over the course of this long bank holiday weekend up at Badingley (the farm house).

‘As to the events of August, I don’t suppose I’ll ever get over them. I’m the kind of guy who feels guilty even when he’s innocent – expects to be stopped going through customs even when he has nothing to declare. But what happened that weekend would surely have happened anyway. It’s not like I’m a rapist or a murderer. Even if I were, I would be honest with you. I’m trying to tell the story, that’s all – not to unburden myself or extenuate some offence but to set things straight.’

And so we begin to hear what transpired over the last weekend of August. Sandwiched between tales of Ollie, Ian and Daisy’s time together at university (Ollie ‘stole’ Daisy from Ian), we are offered glimpses into the mechanics of friendship and rivalry, love and lust, money and class. A weekend meant to be fun and relaxing, is fused with a palpable tension when old rivalries resurface and pulse along to build up to a startling conclusion.

What needs to be made clear is that this is very much Ian’s version of events and as he’s so very honest about wanting to be honest and perhaps not remembering certain things as they happened, he very skilfully lures the reader over to his side.

‘My memory’s pretty good on the whole…And yet Badingley, which ought to be etched on my soul, slips away at times – or refuses to come into focus, like something wrapped in tissue and shut away in a drawer. Did Ollie really say this or Daisy that? I remember a mass of things but nothing distinctly.’

What works in Ian’s favour is that through his recounting of the events that shaped his and Ollie’s friendship back in university, the reader finds it very easy to dislike Ollie. But as the narrative progresses, we slowly begin to realise that things aren’t quite what they seem. Ian slowly emerges into your classic unreliable narrator, leaving the reader constantly weary and on edge. There is a chilling sense of foreboding throughout the novel, and it’s ultimately the desire to know what exactly it is that happened over this specific weekend that keeps you going. This is a highly atmospheric and compelling novel that deserves to be read in all its uncomfortable glory. And watch the miniseries if you can (featured on ITV last year, starring Rupert Penry-Jones) – although good, it’s not as subtle as the book.

 

Granta’s Best of Young British Novelists 2013 Revealed

Source: granta.com

I bet you’re wondering who made the cut? Maybe you’re not; maybe you actually have a life or something. I was, personally, quite excited because David Szalay (a very unassuming young man that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting) made it. Aside from him and a few others (Zadie Smith – AGAIN! – maybe it’s about time I dusted off one of her books and actually read them instead of assuming I’ll hate them), my reaction to this list was ‘eh?’ I, genuinely, have no idea who some of these people are, and I have only read books by three writers on this list (Szalay, Benjamin Markovits and Xiaolu Guo). Here’s the list in all its glory….your thoughts??

Adam Foulds

Evie Wyld

Adam Thirlwell

Zadie Smith

Naomi Alderman

Sarah Hall

Steven Hall

Ross Raisin

David Szalay

Sunjeev Sahota

Xiaolu Guo

Kamila Shamsie

Ned Beauman

Tahmima Anam

Nadifa Mohamed

Taiye Selasi

Joanna Kavenna

Benjamin Markovits

Jenni Fagan

Helen Oyeyemi

Most of the commentary since the announcement earlier this evening has been on how diverse the list is, and that, I think is great. To define Britishness is so very difficult these days so I think this list reflects that. Here is an interesting article written by a member of the judging panel, explaining their year-long selection process. Maybe it’s not so bad that I don’t know the majority of the featured novelists, maybe that’s the whole point. When the next list comes out in 2023, I’ll have discovered these writers and they may have earned a space or two on my overcrowded bookshelf.

Szalay

Markovits

Oyeyemi

Silasi

Where’d You Go, Bernadette: A Book Review

Who on earth is Bernadette, and where the hell did she go? Good question; this is how the novel opens:

This is Bee, a precocious young teenager who is the daughter of Elgin Branch, Microsoft guru; and Bernadette Fox, neurotic architectural genius. After getting top marks on her report card, Bee reminds her parents that they had said she could have anything she wants. This anything turns out to be a trip to Antarctica. And so kick off a chain of events, charted through a mixture of emails, letters, notes, instant messages and reports; that lead to the disappearance of Bernadette.

Bernadette is highly opinionated, highly antisocial (completely disconnected from the real world to the extent that she has a virtual assistant based in India who does everything for her, short of breathing), hates everything about Seattle (‘Sometimes these cars have Idaho plates. And I think, What the hell is a car from Idaho doing here? Then I remember, That’s right, we neighbour Idaho. I’ve moved to a state that neighbours Idaho. And any life that might still be left in me kind of goes poof.’), and doesn’t care that she’s disliked by all the parents from Bee’s school – a pretentious school of ‘Subaru Parents’ (trying very hard to become ‘Mercedes Parents) where the worst grade you can get is a ‘W’ – working towards excellence. Yeah, that kinda nonsense.

Everybody in this book is so incredibly self-involved it is positively hilarious. Their ability to over exaggerate every little small detail and turn it into a 3-page rant creates a novel that is pure, unapologetic satire. An example of this hilarious exaggeration is when Bernadette is telling Manjula, her virtual assistant, about the difficulties of trying to park her car downtown when forced to pick up a dodgy prescription:

‘It was the first time I’d been downtown in a year. I immediately remembered why: the pay-to-park meters. Parking in Seattle is an eight-step process…Step eight, pray to the God you don’t believe in that you have the mental wherewithal to remember what the hell it was you came downtown for in the first place. Already I wished a Chechen rebel would shoot me in the back.’

Maria Semple has written quite a bit of comedy for TV – this is obvious when you start getting into this book. The dialogue is sharp and witty if a little forced at times in that sitcom kinda way. And though Semple does it well, I have to say that there has already been a book written in this format, that I think pushes the humour button a little more naturally than ‘Bernadette’. This book is ‘E: A Novel’ by Matt Beaumont – a brilliantly funny book if you ever have the time.

So, together with Bee, the reader pieces together fragments of information from all these random bits of correspondence, to see if we can find out where on earth Bernadette has got to. Underneath the razor-sharp wit, this book has a lot of heart and is one of those unusual ones where you genuinely don’t know what’s coming next. The twists and turns seem so random yet they work really well together. The only thing I’ll say is that the final third or so didn’t quite match up to the humour of the first two sections and so was a bit of a let down. And I won’t say anymore than that, because part of the pleasure of reading (most of) this is the unexpected way in which the story unfolds.

Another thing that’s surprising is that this book has been longlisted for the Women’s Prize for Fiction this year (formerly known as the Orange Prize). Though entertaining I didn’t think it was of that calibre….but then again, something shouldn’t have to be ‘serious’ in order to be considered prize worthy. Perhaps it’s the pure originality (minus the format) that has made the judges think twice.

The Book Cover Wars: UK vs. USA – Part 2

So, last week, inspired by The Millions, I compared the UK and US covers of some of the books I’ve reviewed on this blog. This week, I’ll be comparing the rest of the book covers from this blog. Fun times. As before, UK on the left, US on the right.

First up is this gem of a book by Emmanuel Carrere. What’s interesting about this book is that the UK and US publishers have each chosen to publish this book under different names: ‘Other Lives But Mine’ – UK, and ‘Lives Other Than My Own’ – US. I’m genuinely not sure which title or cover I prefer (which sorta defeats the purpose of this post). From what I understand, the US cover does have this tattered notebook printed on it, it’s not the notebook that’s the actual book. I find that a bit odd and I’m not sure what it’s supposed to say about the book either. And I (surprisingly) get the oversimplification of the main themes of this book by putting two hands holding onto each other on the cover, but think the UK cover, which depicts the devastating tsunami that is central to the story, ultimately does it better. Even if a bit flat.

A total no-brainer. I am completely shocked that the UK book cover was ever allowed to see the light of day. Honestly one of the worst covers I’ve EVER seen. Which is a shame because the book deserves to be read. But you’d be forgiven for thinking it was a poorly constructed textbook for young children. The hatred I feel for this cover cannot be fully expressed through words. It honestly offends me. Which is why the US wins. But neither of them have nothing on these amazing covers I found on this website.

Because this is one of my favourite reads of last year, I find it difficult to say anything negative about it. Difficult but not impossible . UK has opted for boy running in field whilst US have gone for blurry image of father and son playing in the ocean. I quite like the colour tone of the photograph on the UK cover (though it has very little to do with the story), so my first instinct would be to pick that edition up. But when I look very carefully at the American version, I notice things like the ‘good’ in the title to be written roughly in pencil, giving varying connotations to the word. So, at a push, the subtlety of the US cover wins over the shelf appeal of the UK.

So this is a slight anomaly because it hasn’t been published in America. So the cover on the right is the German edition (I think). As the UK cover seduced me a very long time ago, I think it’s obvious which one I’m going for. I find the cover so strikingly beautiful. And so stark and spare – exactly like Judith Hermann’s prose style. The protruding nipple on the German cover gives a Lolita-esque impression that is neither titillating nor accurate.

Although it’s a bit unfair because the UK copied the US hardback cover to produce this paperback one on the left, and the somewhat less appealing US example I’ve used here is their paperback version; I’m gonna say UK wins. The silhouette of the little girl on the country road work very well as it’s an image that haunts the characters in the book. The US one is a bit meh.

If my memory serves me right, the American version was published by Amazon Publishing (don’t even get me started) who clearly had no idea how to capture the humour of the novel so thought they’d date it and make it look like a manual. Although a bit literal, the UK cover has a nice texture to it and uses a much more interesting font.

Both sides of the pond opted for the same cover. It’s certainly eye-catching and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t influence my decision to buy the book. But after reading these stories, I’m not sure that it necessarily has anything to do with anything. Does this matter?

A fascinating book with good, very different covers on both sides! I know that lobster has helped to sell many books here in England and I can see why – It’s very intriguing. The US cover hints at a dinner that is not as simple as the title implies. The burnt tablecloth revealing the title details underneath mimics the reading process where we discover the true nature of the narrator as the dinner progresses. The curiously curly/scratchy font also works really well. Well done to America.

Again, both sides have the same cover. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it. People who read Jonathan Tropper read him because they’ve heard that he is one of the funniest authors out there, not because his book covers are amazing. I know this is being made into a film (CANNOT WAIT!! EEEK), and I dread the day when the book is reprinted with the movie cover. Those covers are NEVER appealing.

As it was the UK cover that prompted me to read this anticlimactic book, it makes sense for me to pick it over the US one. If you haven’t read the book yet then the US cover is just a girl standing in front of a house. Having said that, the woman’s legs (presumably swimming) in the water, though somewhat creepy, has absolutely nothing to do with this book. But it’s certainly more striking, and as it’s a publisher’s job to sell books, I understand why they went for it.

Where’s You Go, Bernadette – Maria Semple

I’ll be reviewing this quite funny book next week (I promise). Both publishers went with the same idea but executed it in a slightly different way, and I prefer the UK version. The US one is certainly more angular, which I found strangely appealing, but the differing fonts used for title and author’s name is very irritating (also the placement of the author’s name?!?!). And unless you’ve already read the book, you wouldn’t make the reference that those blue triangles behind Bernadette’s head are actually icebergs. The UK wins by only a tiny amount because something about the cover screams chick-lit, which this book definitely isn’t.

So that’s the end of these cover comparisons. The UK won this time around – 6 to 3, so maybe these publishers know what appeals to us more than we do. But then, the US won in my last cover comparison, so perhaps there is no science behind the art.

The Book Cover Wars: UK vs. USA

We all judge books by their cover. Fact. Something that I’ve always been aware of is how books over here (England) are produced very differently from those in the US (down to the actual texture of the books) –  the idea being that those of us here in the UK respond to cover images differently to those in the US. After seeing this done on The Millions, I was interested to see how the UK and US covers for the books I’ve been reviewing on this blog, differ from one another and which I prefer. I’ve picked the best cover from each side of the pond, whether it be the paperback or the hardback cover. Your expert opinions and comments are most welcome. UK covers on the left, US on the right.

My first ever review was ‘A Visit From the Goon Squad’. I love the bold simplicity of the US cover and that bright aqua colour, and I also love the raining musical notes on the UK one. I’m not sure which one I prefer to be honest, but at a push, the UK cover better captures the random, unclassifiable quirkiness of the book.

This is a great book  that has been published in exactly the same way everywhere. The simplicity of the textbook-like cover works well in reiterating the tongue in cheek How-To manual feel. I prefer the white on black.

I don’t think either of these hit the mark, but the American version even less so. In theory, there’s nothing wrong with these covers if they’re looked at independently of the actual story of this book. But in the context of Germany during World War II, the UK cover gives a better sense of place and captures the mystery of the story. UK wins.

This is not even a question; US wins, hands down. I hate the UK cover. You can almost imagine the brief for the photo shoot: get a little girl, have her hold some lemons and make her look kinda thoughtful and sad. It’s so literal and so uninspired. And don’t even get me started on that curly ‘book club’ font. The chocolate (and presumably lemon) cake on the US cover looks great. Yes, I have a weakness for cake, but if you look at the shadow of the cake it’s of a person – a little more intriguing than ‘girl holding lemons’. My review of the book is here.

I have no idea what the UK publishers were thinking with this. It’s so incredibly flat; I have no idea what’s going on. Although I like the tagline of the UK cover, the US one wins for the sheer fact that it doesn’t look like it was put together in 1981 and bothers to make reference to the dictionary aspect of the novel.

Back when I read this book last summer, I harped on about the cover (the UK one), and I’ll do so again. I absolutely LOVE it. It’s a book that I bought full price from the bookstore (something I rarely do) because I just had to have it on my bookshelf. It is simply beautiful. The washed out wateriness of the text and the way the black bleeds into the page edges is simply breathtaking in the flesh (I often find myself stroking it for no apparent reason).

Both the UK and the US went for the same approach. I think black/white/grey is more striking than the red/pink/white combo on the American jacket, and I also think the not necessarily positive quotes on the UK cover make you want to pick it up. But way better than either of these is the jacket on the right. I THINK it’s an American cover, but not sure what edition. The naked female body lighter is very clean and modern and has the air of that postmodern sh*t you get in art galleries where you put a box in a room and call it ‘art’; but it works! It captures the explicit sex of the book quite well.

I like how these covers approach the notion of spring from completely different sides – the sunshine and the inevitable rain. There’s definitely an air of romance in the dusky sunshine of the UK cover, and I love the hazy, translucent lettering of the title. And I also like the eye-catching red umbrella on the US cover, the words ‘spring’ on it almost tongue-in-cheek. For this latter reason, I think the US have really understood the essence of David Szalay’s painfully true account of romance in a modern city.

No contest. US wins. The symmetry of the chairs appeals to me quite a bit and also has an element of musical chairs to it – marries well with the idea of a waltz. Book review here.

Wow, I’m surprisingly very much on the side of the Americans with these covers! I didn’t expect this! The randomness of the dirty Converse on a book titled ‘What the Dog Saw‘ really works for me. The literalness of the dog on the UK cover, not so much.

US cover – house with happy family in it – YAWN. I’m not even quite sure what that picture is trying to say. But the UK one – genius. LOVE. IT. The house inside the jar very effectively relates the idea of a family trapped inside their own personal grief.

So I think the Americans win this time around – 6 to 5. Tune in next week (let’s hope I get my sh*t together) for part 2 of the BCWs (book cover wars) where I’ll compare some more covers of the books I’ve reviewed on this blog. Until then, Happy Easter folks!!

Book Review: Alys, Always by Harriet Lane

‘Alys, Always’, a dedication on the opening page of Laurence Kyte’s new novel. Alys is the name of the bestselling novelist’s wife. The opening of this novel finds us at the scene of a car accident. Alys is in the overturned car when a stranger finds her and keeps her company ’til the ambulance shows up. We later learn that Alys doesn’t make it. This book is about that stranger; Frances.

Frances is an easily forgettable person. She works on a newspaper, proofing and editing other people’s book reviews, doesn’t have much of a life and blends very nicely into the background:

‘Childhood just happened to me, as I suppose it happens to most people. At the time, I suppose it seemed an endless succession of fears and dreams and secrets, but from this distance it looks as dull as the life I’ve gone on to lead.‘

But when the police call upon her to provide closure for Alys’s family (Laurence and their two grown up children) by telling them what her last words and thoughts were, an opportunity for a change in both her personal and professional circumstances arises. Sitting on that roadside speaking to Alys, Frances determines many things:

‘It seems strange that I know little more about her than the automatic associations that come with a certain sort of voice, and turn of phrase, and make of car…that moment in the woods when I briefly heard her voice and knew it, knew almost everything about her that mattered. The ease and comfort and significance of her life.’

And so she starts to very subtly weave herself into the Kyte’s lives and we begin to see what lies beneath her dull exterior: ‘In general, I’m content for them to think I’m dull. It’s safer that way.’ Frances is that Judy Dench character in Zoe Heller’s ‘Notes on a Scandal’, so for that reason I didn’t find this to be highly original. And also, I found her to be completely unlikable, though her cunning is very quietly chilling.

Is this a psychological thriller like the cover claims it is? In a word, no. I think it’s too subtle to be successfully classed as a thriller. Though Harriet Lane writes well and I’d probably read anything else she may write in the future (this is her debut novel), I found this story to be quite predictable. There definitely was something that kept me reading, a desire to know where the tale was going, but ultimately, I expected a twist in the end that did not come and with hindsight, feel that you can see what the truth is from a mile off.